Well, I WAS Excited…

I’ll be honest with you.

I don’t want to write this post at all.

But Jack asked me to. So I am.

I’m starting reluctantly, but hoping that some enthusiasm will come to me as I go along.

The reason I don’t want to write this is because I just spent nearly an hour writing a long, detailed post. And then, as I began to proofread it, I innocently tried to toggle the writing window to full screen, and WordPress erased my post.

After half an hour spent searching WordPress for my post and the internet for help, I came to the sad conclusion that my post was gone.

My original post was entitled “I Am So Excited!” (Some of you might still have it in your readers since I published the empty shell of it while following some directions for retrieving a lost draft.) Well, I was excited then. Now my excitement has been replaced with frustration and I just really hate WordPress.

Anyway.

Enough grouching I guess.

The reason I was so excited before WordPress ate my post, is because Jack is coming to see me!

Yep, after a long and lonely three months, he’s coming down to see me again. And for the first time in nearly eight months, he is actually going to be able to stay for longer than a weekend!!!

He will be on Thanksgiving break and can stay for a whole 9 days!

I was (am) excited about this for many reasons.

One of them is, obviously, that I haven’t seen him in forever!

Another is that this is the last visit before he comes down for our wedding. I still can’t believe this!

Yet another reason is that we have been going through a pretty rough time lately and we really need some time together.

You see, things haven’t been going very well for us lately. These last few months have quite possibly been the worst in all of our years together.

Jack is just finishing up the hardest, most grueling, stressful, draining, and intense term that he’s ever had at engineering school. I have been with him every step of the way, and I have never seen him this stressed out. His school is known for being very intense and extremely difficult, and it definitely lived up to its reputation this quarter!

So, since he’s been struggling to just keep his stress levels low enough to study, there has been some fallout. And I’ll be honest.

It has been very hard for me.

I have had to temporarily take his place as the strong one and be there for him. Night after night, phone call after phone call, exam after exam, I have had to shelve my own stress and be strong for him. I’ve had to do my best to keep my perspective when my wonderful boyfriend snaps at me over nothing, and remind myself he’s stressed to the max and doesn’t mean it.

I have had to allow DD to majorly take a backseat. We haven’t done any kind of maintenance in months. For us, long-distance DD takes a lot of time and emotional energy, and Jack just hasn’t had enough of either lately. It has been hard for me to temporarily let go of something so important to me, but I’ve adjusted to it. It definitely isn’t a permanent change and I’ve managed to keep going without much of what I once thought was imperative for our DD relationship to work.

In addition to the stress of Jack’s education, there’ve been a few other things going on. I’ve been continuing to pound away at my wedding diet and had a rough time of it when three weeks of faithful dieting saw no progress whatsoever. Eventually I reevaluated my diet plan and made some changes which are so far proving effective, and I’m making progress again–thank goodness!

The stress must have gotten to Jack’s faithful little Chevy because it wound up in the mechanics getting its transmission rebuilt, which drained our savings. A few weeks before that, Jack’s car got towed. I’ll spare you the gory details. That whole fiasco ended up costing us $600, including the cost to repair some damage to the car that the towing company refused to accept responsibility for.

With a month and a half to go until the wedding and what seemed like a million details all needing attention simultaneously, I started to hate our wedding. A few major meltdowns later found me desperately trying to convince Jack to let me cancel the wedding and plan a private ceremony with just our family instead. He stuck to his guns and said no over and over. I was pretty mad at him at the time, but once I calmed down I knew he was right. I tackled the million details head on, and finally my to-do list is shrinking instead of ballooning. Our wedding is coming together and I’m not hating it anymore…just very ready for it to be over!

With all this and quite a few other smaller things going on, Jack and I have been having a rough time of it. And so has our relationship. About a month ago Jack and I realized things weren’t good. We were fighting pretty much every day. There was nearly constant miscommunication and hurt feelings. Basically, the stress was getting to us and pushing us apart.

We majorly reevaluated at that point and both starting putting more effort into our relationship. Things massively improved and we’re doing way, way better now, although much of the stress is still present.

So, that is mostly why I am so excited to see him. After three months of aching loneliness, frequent tears, unbelievable stress levels, and emotional and physical exhaustion, we are 100% ready to be in each other’s arms again and to spend a whole week rejuvenating.

We both know that after all this crazy (and especially since DD has been more or less temporarily shelved) we are going to have a bigger than normal adjustment period once he arrives. We have a major “reconnection” planned for the morning after he gets here, and I am bracing myself for one long spanking. We have a lot of baggage to sort through to get us both reestablished in our roles and ready to move on from this rough time.

Anyway, all this to say, it’s been a rough few months and I can’t wait to see my wonderful man in just two more days. And soon—very, very soon, thank God!—this long distance relationship will be behind us forever, and hopefully, things can settle down a little!

Thanks for listening to all this! It felt so good to get it all off my chest. Since a lot of this has been very personal between Jack and me, I haven’t really been talking to anybody about it. I feel better having just typed this!

I still miss you all so much and can’t wait to get back to regular blogging and reading after the wedding. I’ll try to pop in after Jack’s visit with a story or two, but I don’t dare promise anything. :)

I hope you and yours are all well. Happy early Thanksgiving everybody!

This entry was posted on November 14, 2012. 4 Comments

A Nosy Question: Favorite Implement?

Hey everybody! I’m popping in for a minute, in between wedding to-do lists and my evening work out, to ask another nosy question. I’ve had so much fun with the answers to a few questions I’ve asked you all while I’ve been blogging that I’ve decided to ask yet another one! :)

So here’s today’s nosy question:

Out of all the implements you’ve ever used or had used on you, which is your favorite? And what makes it your favorite?

My favorite implement that we’ve used is actually the head of a wooden spoon. (I have to clarify which part of the wooden spoon because Jack uses the handle of one for discipline, and let’s just say that that shouldn’t even be mentioned in a post about favorite implements.) It’s super intense, and can be really painful, but I like it more than any other implement we’ve used. I have a hard time explaining why I like it so much, and the best I can do is that I really like the way it feels, just the sensation of it, totally apart from the pain level. Jack says that doesn’t make any sense, and it probably doesn’t, but that’s the only way I know how to explain it!

I’m looking forward to all your great answers! Thanks for playing along. :)

This entry was posted on October 26, 2012. 11 Comments

I’m a Little Busy These Days

Well guys, in case you hadn’t noticed from the dead silence on my blog and total lack of commenting on your blogs, I haven’t been around Blogland much lately. My full involvement here these days consists of finding a spare minute to open my reader about once a week and skimming all the accumulated posts, trying to catch up with all of you in about five minutes.

The reason?

Actually, there are a bunch of reasons, but they all boil down to one basic idea: I have no time.

My life has been a little hectic lately. Here’s a little of what I have been up to:

  • Single-handedly planning a very do-it-ourselves wedding (we are doing the decorating, the food, the photography…pretty much everything but playing the Bridal March)
  • Working nearly 30 hours a week at a demanding job
  • Squeezing my normal work for the family business in whatever cracks I can find
  • Helping Jack through yet another highly demanding semester at his college (which involves being his secretary, a full-time shoulder to cry on, and a stress-relieving machine, among other things)
  • Working out for at least an hour a day to aid in the fit-into-the-wedding-dress mission (which is going really well, btw)

So yeah…that’s some of what has been eating up my time. I’m finding that at the end of the day one of three scenarios plays out: I either don’t have enough spare time to blog, I have spare time to blog but have more urgent things I need to do, or I have spare time to blog and nothing more urgent to do but am simply too exhauated.

Actually, there is another scenario. It goes like this: I have spare time to blog and nothing more urgent to do and am not exhausted, but I have no privacy.

You see, I share my bedroom with my older sister. We are both young adults living at home temporarily, and my parents have a big family and a small house. So when my sister and I ended up here simultaneously, we ended up sharing a small room because there was simply no other way to fit  everybody.

So I have really no privacy in my room, where my computer is. I blog at night, which is my only spare time, which is also my sister’s only spare time, so we are both in our room at night. When I first started blogging, I did my best to make it work by blogging in any spare minute that my sister left the room, or when I thought she would be occupied elsewhere for a while. However, after several close calls with her nearly seeing what I was writing, or seeing it for the split second it took me to shrink the window, I decided I couldn’t risk blogging with her in and out of the room anymore.

However, luckily for me, my sister got a job with evening hours right around the time I came to this conclusion, and I was able to blog when she wasn’t home. It worked out perfectly and I was able to blog undisturbed for quite a few weeks.

Unfortunately for my blog, over the last couple of weeks she has been changed to a different shift and is home in the evenings again. So I am back to trying to find the privacy to blog. And with the time constraits and all the other factors, it seems that all the stars are VERY rarely aligning for me to blog lately.

The only reason I’m blogging tonight is because my sister is away from home for a few days and I’ve had a chance to get caught up on the rest of my life enough to work on this post.

So anyway…that’s why I haven’t been blogging. It’s also the reason I haven’t been commenting on all of your blogs. Everybody knows the time it takes to keep up with the community, and I just don’t have it right now.

Honestly, I hate the way things are right now with my involvement in Blogland. I love to blog and I love to read your blogs. I love chatting with you all in the comments and keeping up on all of your lives. I feel like I’m missing a chapter of your unfolding stories right now, and also not sharing a chapter of ours, and I hate it! I miss you guys!!

But, the good news in this whiny post (yeah, there IS some good news here), is that this is not forever. Today it is exactly 2 1/2 months to our wedding. I’ll be looking for part-time work once I move in with Jack, but having just ONE part-time job and our dollhouse apartment to look after should leave me with lots of time for blogging and keeping up with you all. I can’t wait!!

 I doubt you’ll see much of me for the next few weeks as my life shows no signs of slowing down until after the wedding. But I fully expect to back to my normal involvement in January at the latest!

So don’t forget about me okay? I’ll be back soon!

This entry was posted on October 15, 2012. 16 Comments

Our Weekend (Part 3)

Hello again everybody!! Sorry I just dropped off the planet for a while. I had a really, really crazy week or two and blogging, blog reading, and commenting went entirely out the window for a time. I didn’t even have time to open my reader, let alone chat with you all! I’ve missed you, but I’m back now and will be dropping in to bother you all on your own blogs again like normal soon. :)

Thanks to everybody who shared their perspectives on my question in my last post. I loved reading your responses! I think I am going to have to ask some more nosy questions in future…it’s so much fun!! :)

Anyway…so on with story of the weekend.

Sunday of Jack’s visit was actually pretty significant. And, like all significant days in a DD relationship, it involved lots of spankings. :)

Our plan was to go on about a half day date on Sunday, skipping church to spend some quiet time together. We planned on getting back to the house shortly after noon and spending the rest of the day with John, as he was flying out Monday morning.

So Sunday morning we were up bright and early. I made Jack and John breakfast, watched them eat it, and wondered how two men who haven’t seen each other in a year could have so little to talk about. (Seriously, they said like three words to each other as they ate. Jack told me later how much he enjoyed it and how great it was to be spending such a nice time with his dad. Men!)

After breakfast I started prodding Jack along to get ready for the day. He was perfectly happy to just sit around all morning not talking with his dad, but I was dying to get out the door and on with our date! Amused at my eagerness, Jack complied, and we were soon ready to head out.

However, we didn’t make it further than the front door. John and my mom were sitting in the living room engrossed in a conversation about one of Jack’s younger brothers, who recently had a bit of a crazy experience with an attempted relationship that went wrong. While I grabbed up my purse and all the last minute items a woman can’t leave the house without, Jack, to my dismay, pulled up a chair to join in the conversation.

I told him I was ready to go. He said to hold on, he just wanted to listen in for a minute.

I waited a minute. And then asked him if we could please leave now?

He said to just calm down, it was still early in the morning, we had plenty of time for just a few minutes of chatting with our parents.

I was not in the mood for chatting.

I was getting really frustrated with Jack. Couldn’t he tell how desperate I was to be on our way? I had been so excited for our date, and now he was ruining it by holding everything up, making me wait, and killing the mood!

Pout.

Jack, seeing my growing agitation, patted his lap and let me know he wanted me to sit with him for a few minutes. I sat down on his lap, and he put his arms around me. But I was not in the mood to cuddle either.

“Come on baby,” I whispered in his ear. “Please can we leave?”

“Babe,” he whispered back, a little sternly. “I said to just wait. Calm down. Just wait with me. We’ll leave in a minute. Just sit here and wait a minute.”

Obediently I waited for a minute.

And then I got up off his lap and walked out of the room.

Fine. He wants to chat with our parents, he can chat with our parents!

Feeling very hurt and frustrated, I got on my computer and pulled up a blog, attempting to be very nonchalant and absorbed, so that when Jack came looking for me he could see what a martyr I was being, waiting for him at such an expense of my own desires.

After a few minutes I felt a little guilty. He had told me to stay there with him and wait…and I’d left. Was I ruining our fun date together?

Quickly I got off my computer and headed back to the front of the house to find him, only to meet him in the hall, coming for me.

“Ready to go?” he asked pleasantly, not seeming at all perturbed.

We headed out, much to my intense relief. But my excitement and joy in the day had been dampened a bit by all that had just passed. I felt guilty at how I’d handled it. Had I just sort of acted like a three-year-old who can’t wait five seconds for anything she wants? Yeah…I kind of had.

Jack was very pleasant, but said we were going to do maintenance before we did anything else. I was reluctant, but he was firm.

We found (after much looking) a really nice, quiet, deserted road out in the middle of nowhere, and we settled in for what proved to be an epic maintenance session.

We talked a little before we started, and I confessed to feeling disgruntled and not particularly submissive. With a “well I’ll take care of that” attitude, Jack put me over his lap, and started in on my with the plastic spoon.

I barely got a warm up. Before I knew it he was spanking me HARD. It was intense and sharp.

“Owwww!” I complained. “Why are you spanking me so hard?”

“I’m helping you get into a more submissive mind set,” he explained cheerfully.

Yeah, it was helpful, alright.

It helped me to throw my second big tantrum of the week.

The spanking was lighting me on fire, and I put my hand back. I wouldn’t move it when he said to, and when he reached for the wooden spoon I scrambled up and fought him.

A few seconds later found me scrunched up against my seat, frantically trying to keep him from hauling me up so he could get a good aim at my rear end or thighs. Soon he stopped struggling with me, and gripped my chin with his big hands, very tightly.

“Stop this!” he ordered sharply. “Stop this right now! We are done with this tantrum! You hear me? We’re done with it! Now shape up! Got it?”

“Okay,” I whimpered, suddenly snapped out of my tantrum by his fingers digging into my chin and his angry eyes boring into mine.

“Now get over my lap!” he commanded, letting go of me.

I flung myself over his lap,

There was silence.

“Now what was that tantrum about?” Jack demanded, frustration very thick in his voice.

I hesitated. I knew what it had all been about. But he was going to kill me when he found out.

“Answer me babe,” he said, picking up the wooden spoon ominously.

“I’m mad at you!” I whimpered, cowering into the seat.

“Why are you mad at me?” he asked.

“Because you took forever and just sat there listening to Mom and your dad when you knew I wanted to leave on our date!” I accused.

There was silence, this time a little bit of a hurt silence on Jack’s part, and then we talked about it. I explained my frustrations and he explained his perspective. With my initial anger gone, I felt pretty bad.

It had truly only been a few minutes–probably about ten–that he’d sat talking, and I had been unreasonable, childish, and selfish in how I’d handled the delay in what I wanted. Not to mention disobedient and far from submissive.

He said he was disappointed with how I’d handled the situation, that I hadn’t submitted to his request that I wait for him, and that instead I had hassled him and tried to rush him. He wasn’t pleased with me.

I apologized and there were tears and hugs and we made up.

And then, of course, there was the reckoning.

I don’t remember how many swats I got for my tantrum, but it was a lot. I was really sorry, and took them quietly and penitently…or at least tried to.

After that, we talked, and then I was punished for several other things that had built up over the weekend that one or both of us felt needed to be addressed–including my bad handling of that morning.

My poor rear end received a very large number of swats in a very short period of time, but it actually felt really good…well…emotionally any way. It really cleared the air between us and it felt good to be dealing with things that had lingered over the weekend.

With everything finally addressed, we moved back to the interrupted maintenance session. Jack spanked me for a long time, and we talked about things and dealt with things and it was good.

But I was feeling strangely needy. I felt like I needed him to spank me all day, just never stop. I think because I was such an emotional wreck all weekend, and things were so stressful, I was in massive need of a complete 100% reset.

Jack kept asking if I was done, and I had to keep telling him no. Finally, I told him what I was feeling.

“Baby,” I said hesitantly, “I think I need you to use the head of the wooden spoon, and just spank me hard, and not stop even if I ask you too, until I’m done.”

Jack only hesitated a second, and then he was getting out the wooden spoon and putting me in position.

He put me in a new position that we had just discovered/made up. We put my seat all the way back and I get on my hands and knees, resting my forehead on the dashboard. He sits in the middle seat and swats away. It’s comfortable (well, you know) for both of us, and works a lot better than trying to go for long periods of time with me over his lap, which is pretty cramped for both of us in our little car.

As I knelt there, resting my head on the dashboard and looking at the carpet, Jack rubbed my back and told me how things were going to go down. He explained that he was going to spank me much harder and longer than normal, and that the rules were going to be even stricter than usual. I wasn’t to get out of position the least little bit, and he didn’t want me moving beyond a slight shifting. I wasn’t to be complaining or making a lot of fuss. I was just to accept it.

As harsh as it sounds, it was just what I needed, and I nodded in relief when he asked if I was ready to start. I was.

That spanking was the most intense I have ever received. Jack spanked me in three extremely long groups, spanking hard for several minutes with the wooden spoon for each one. And I leaned into the dashboard and stayed perfectly still and tried to stay quiet. Sometimes the pain was unbearable but I breathed through it and listened to Jack’s encouragement that I was doing great and everything was going to be fine.

After three long sessions like that, I was feeling about one million times better. Jack let me up and held me and asked if I needed more.

I felt a little strange. I didn’t feel like I needed more of the spanking, I felt like I needed something else, something different. I didn’t know what it was, and I feebly searched around for the words to explain how I was feeling to Jack.

“I think you need corner time,” he said matter-of-factly, and immediately I knew he was right. I did. I needed the settling, quiet, submissive act of corner time.

For a few minutes Jack was at a loss how to accomplish corner time in the car, but soon enough he was instructing me to get into the back seat and kneel with my face in the corner of the seat and the car door.

We had never done corner time together in person before but strangely I didn’t feel the least bit nervous. I didn’t even feel hesitant. I climbed over the seat and got into the “corner”.

Jack told me that the normal corner time rules (no talking, no moving) applied, and that he’d let me know when I was done.

I settled into the corner and relaxed into the cushions of the seat. Hey, it actually wasn’t that bad! It was way more comfortable than standing in a cold, boring, uncomfortable corner in my bedroom!

Jack left me there for a few minutes, and it was just what I needed to settle my emotions and finish the reset. When he let me out, I felt like a new woman.

However, Jack had further plans for me. He said he wanted to “finish it properly” and guided me back into position on the seat.

He started spanking again.

I was completely unprepared for the agony that followed.

I think my bottom had just enough time while I was in the corner to fully un-numb every single nerve and bring them to a state of acute awareness. Because when Jack started spanking again, it hurt like no spanking I have ever gotten.

I was in a completely settled, peaceful frame of mind, but I could barely take it.

I screamed into the dashboard. I felt like I was going to die.

I think Jack caught on that it was a tad uncomfortable for me (maybe because I have never screamed in agony while being spanked before?) because he stopped quickly, and it was all done.

He told me I could get up, but I asked if I could stay in position for a while. He said yes, and I knelt there and tried to catch my breath and clear my head. So much had just happened, I needed a few minutes to catch up.

Several minutes later I was ready, and Jack helped me up and held me and loved me. I rested against him and felt deliciously happy.

I had been needing that mega spanking since before Jack came down for the weekend, and the reset felt so good. The emotional cobwebs were all cleared away, and I was a new woman.

I was myself again, and ready to handle the rest of the weekend.

This entry was posted on September 20, 2012. 18 Comments

The Sir Question

I thought I’d interrupt my weekend tale and post about something that’s been on my mind for a long time.

It’s about the use of “sir” or other names of respect in relationships like ours.

I’ve seen a lot of different names used a lot of different ways in my journeys around Blogland and I’m curious.

In my own relationship, calling Jack “sir” isn’t required, but I do it sometimes, to show respect. Actually it’s kind of funny. I have a sort of pact with myself that I will never call him that unless I feel like calling him that (which I don’t think he knows!). I’m not sure why I decided on that, but I only call him “sir” when it feels very genuine and I truly mean it. So usually I’ll call him that at the end of a spanking (yeah, go figure right?) and for a while afterwards, if he’s feeling uncertain and I want to show my respect of him, or similar times.

The first time I called him “sir” I remember he was so shocked it about killed him! He had to admit when we discussed it later that he liked it, but it would take some getting used to. We talked about him making it mandatory in some situations–like any time I’m in trouble–but he didn’t want to. He said it meant more to him coming from me voluntarily, and that he didn’t need a special name to feel respected at all times.

So that’s how we approach the use of names of respect in our relationship, and I think we are both happy with how it currently stands.

Ladies (and guys if there happen to be any reading), I am now going to get very nosy and ask some personal questions. :) Feel free to share as little or as much as you feel comfortable with.

Do you ever use special names of respect in your relationship? Why or why not? If so, how did it start? If not, do you wish you did?

Can’t wait to read your responses! Thanks for sharing!

This entry was posted on September 13, 2012. 15 Comments

Our Weekend (Part Two)

The next day of our long weekend together, Saturday, was an interesting day. It was most notable in that I didn’t actually get a real spanking all day. (Go ahead, I’ll wait while you pick your  jaws up off your lap and put them back in place. All set? Good.)

Saturday morning I went to him very early where he was sleeping on the living room floor and found him waiting for me, wide awake. We snuggled and flirted and enjoyed a companionable early morning.

I was in heaven; secure, content, and blissfully happy. And I was in a very good mood, and enjoyed poking and teasing my fiance who is the furthest thing from a morning person and can sometimes before 9:00 am resemble a bear waking from winter hybernation. :)

Eventually he teasingly threatened to spank me, and I happily agreed. (In case none of you caught on by now, I’m a spanko. So is Jack. At least 95% of our spanking is currently serious, but I have a feeling that is going to change more and more, especially following our marriage.)

He said it was too early and there wasn’t enough privacy, but I had a brain wave and suggested that we sneak out to a building on the property that my family calls “the pantry”. (It’s actually really just a room adjoining our garage that is well insulted and kept at a low temperature for storage purposes.) He was hesitant, but I talked him into it, and since it was still early in the morning, we had no troubles in sneaking out unseen.

Jack selected his weapon of choice from the kitchen (a metal mixing spoon) and out we traipsed to the pantry. We situated ourselves right next to the only door so we were assured of privacy, and the fun began.

However, spanko or no, I very rapidly (read: one swat) realized that thin metal objects with holes in them are on my no-way-no-how list for spanking, fun or otherwise. That thing was unreal! Even with the light swats he gave me in fun, I about died!

He tried a few more swats (much to my extreme consternation) but eventually abandonded it and just used his hand for the dozen or so swats I got.

He didn’t really like spanking me in such close proximity to the house, and so he was done long before I was. I wanted to keep playing but he put a stop to it and we went back into the house for more snuggling instead. Which I guess wasn’t so bad. :)

It was a fun and lighthearted way to start the day and I loved it! I don’t get much by way of playful spankings (things are usually so intense during his visits that there isn’t really time or opportunity for them) and I am looking forward to them becoming a more frequent thing following our marriage.

Jack spent that morning working on our car with my brothers, making a few repairs and replacements, while I spent it running around like a mad woman in the house trying to throw together everything for my birthday party that was to be that evening, as well as all that Jack and I would need for that day. I didn’t want to leave my very busy mom with a birthday party to prepare for on top of everything else she has to do, but I had pretty limited time to preare, and it made for a hectic few hours for me!

Our plan for Saturday was to do a bunch of shopping prior to picking Jack’s dad John up from an airport about an hour away from my house. We got out the door around 11:00 and headed first for a nearby town where I did some driving practice. (As you may remember, I’m belatedly working on getting my driver’s liscence. Test coming up this week! Eeeek…)

Jack knew my test was coming up soon and tried to help me smooth out any rough edges in my driving. But that was unfortunately the cause of a little misunderstanding.

I had asked him to help me with my driving while he was in town. He took that to mean that I wanted him to walk me through everything, explain everything, help with everything. What I meant was: let me drive and figure things out for myself unless I’m going to kill somebody.

Yeah, just a little different.

I felt like Jack was criticizing my every move, and I was really hurt. I’m kind of sensitive about my driving because I’m learning so late, and I want to be really good at it before I really am. So I didn’t take his innocent comments very well.

One slight meltdown in a McDonald’s parking lot later, and the misunderstanding was discovered and put to rights and we continued with our afternoon.

We spent the afternoon buying a gazillion things for the little apartment Jack moved into last month. This is his first REAL apartment (he’s always shared with other students before) and will be our home following our wedding, and we have been discovering all the things one needs to set up house. But it was fun picking things out together for OUR place, and the afternoon flew by.

All too soon for me it was time to head to the airport to pick John up.

I was excited to see him, but I was also scared to death. I haven’t seen John since before Jack and I started dating, and I wanted desperately for him to like and approve of me.

We were waiting for him in the airport when he left the airplane, and I got to witness a rather touching reunion between Jack and his dad.

That night we had my birthday party. Several friends and family members came and we had dinner and gifts and music.

Now something you should know about me is that I am really NOT a party animal. I love my peace and quiet, and I don’t love social events. I especially don’t like being the center of attention. Social stuff wears on me, frays my nerves, and stresses me out. Normally I handle it pretty well and can get through events tolerably well. But this night was a particular trial as I was going into it tired and emotionally fragile to begin with.

Halfway through my party, I was kind of a mess. I wasn’t enjoying myself and I just wanted the night to be over.

I finally desperately whispered to Jack that I needed some space. Immedietely he went out with me to the front porch and we sat on the porch swing together. I took some deep breaths and cuddled with him.

The knot of tension in my stomach was huge and I really, really, really wanted the night to be over so I could just relax and enjoy some time alone with Jack. But I felt bad too. People had gone to work and effort to give me and come to my birthday party and I wasn’t even enjoying it! I felt like a pretty lousy birthday girl.

“Baby?” I whispered hesitantly after several minutes of silence. “I think if you would spank me, just to help me relax, I would feel a lot better.”

My wonderful man didn’t even blink. In a matter of a few seconds I found myself back in the convenient pantry, bent over and receiving a de-stressing spanking.

As he swatted my rear, he gave me many assurances of his love and support, and told me to relax and enjoy myself. And I felt myself melting as he spanked and rubbed and reassured me.

We went back inside several minutes later and I felt like a new person. I very much enjoyed the rest of the evening and Jack and I were both shocked by how drastic the improvement was.

When everybody left we went back out to the porch swing and did some more cuddling as we discussed the events of the day and our plans for the next. Jack made some comment about making stress-relief spankings before social events mandatory (oh greeeeeeeeeat), and we both marveled at the change that a few swats had made in my ability to enjoy the evening.

I was relaxed, happy, and contented once again, and had the rare delight of growing very sleepy in my man’s arms.

This entry was posted on September 10, 2012. 14 Comments

Our Weekend (Part One)

Well, I figure after my highly dramatic and emotional post right before Labor Day weekend about Jack’s dad coming in and messing up our weekend plans, I owe you all a brief (who am I kidding?) account of how the weekend went.

Friday was a tough day for me (in case you couldn’t tell from my post that morning!). I was completely exhausted and emotionally drained and needed to see Jack so intensely.

Fortunately he was able to get off work early that afternoon and arrived around 5:00.

I met him at the end of the road my family lives on and we had a very long, quiet embrace. (One of my younge brothers who EVIDENTLY was having trouble minding his own business at that particular moment later informed me: “I thought for SURE you guys were going to kiss! It looked just like it!!”)

It felt so good to be in his arms again after so long and he just held me, nestling me close as he leaned against the side of his car. I rested in his arms and felt the stress and tension let up just a little bit.

Eventually we made it back to the house and he greeted my family very briefly before I whisked him away for a walk.

We had two goals: 1) spend some alone time together, and 2) get maintenance out of the way first thing. We had agreed before he came down that it would be best to do maintenance as soon as we could upon his arrival, just to set the tone for the rest of the visit.

So we walked up to our shed, and after a little bit of flirting and goofing around, Jack got down to business.

Before too long I found myself over Jack’s lap, clutching his ankle for support with one hand and holding my hair out of my face with the other, while swats from a wooden spoon rained down on my unfortunate rear end.

Jack didn’t go easy on me, and it was my first spanking in a long time!! I had so much tension bottled up from the day that I didn’t do a very good job accepting the spanking. I tried to move out of position, earned extra swats for putting my hand back, and was generally difficult. He spanked away, and eventually I stopped fighting and said I was done.

We went around to the front of the shed and cuddled. But after a few minutes I realized I was still feeling tense, stressed, and dissatisfied.

Eventually I knew for sure that the spanking hadn’t been enough. I was reluctant to tell him, but finally I did so.

Back behind the shed we went and the spanking started again, this time with a little bit of a higher tempo.

And I was frustrated.

The last 24 hours had been extremely hard on me emotionally. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, drained, and needy. Jack was there again after weeks of separation and all I wanted to do was cuddle with him and enjoy his presence. Instead, I was bent over his knee getting my butt spanked.

Fed up and frustrated with myself and everything else, I snapped.

I stopped submitting to the spanking.

I threw a tantrum.

I whined and sobbed and said NO and twisted off of his lap and out of his reach.

It didn’t last very long. He is a lot stronger than me.

After giving me a few chances to shape up, he just grabbed me and spanked all the feistiness, tension, and emotional baggage right out of me.

I was begging for mercy after just a few of the heavy swats he was landing on my rear, but he kept going for quite a while before finally letting me up…only to announce that NOW I was going to get the spanking I’d just earned by my little tantrum.

When he finished with the discipline, I was completely done, for real this time. Once again we went back to the front of the shed and cuddled on the bench there.

He held me in his arms and I pushed my face against his neck and just rested.

I felt so much better.

He was there with me, and he was firmly in charge and had everything under control.

No matter what happened with the rest of the weekend, he would take care of me, and it would be okay.

This entry was posted on September 8, 2012. 19 Comments